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Obama to Star in New Post-Presidential Reality Show for $30 Million Paycheck

The 44th President of the United States hasn’t just been kitesurfing with Richard Branson, he’s also been closing major TV deals with the Bravo network to the tune of $30 million. That’s right: Barack and Michelle Obama are set to star in their own reality TV show, titled “Post Presidential.” The series will debut this fall.

The move might seem out of character for Obama, a former lawyer, but it’s not that surprising when you consider the post-reality show success enjoyed by his Oval Office successor. Details about the series are scarce as Bravo preps their presidential presser, but here’s what we know at the time of publishing.

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Obama Reality Show Coming to Bravo

“Post Presidential” will take an eight-episode, 44-minute format, though it’s unclear whether the show will be a one-term series or the first term of a multi-season run. According to reality TV blogger and Bravo insider Rand Putmold, the show adopts a docu-series format. “Think of it as more ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ and less ‘The Biggest Loser,'” he tells us.

Docu-style means we won’t be seeing the former Commander in Chief race against a game show-like clock to finish a new book — though he did recently strike a multi-million dollar book deal with Penguin Random House. Nor will we see him try to take on as many speaking engagements as he can within a month’s time — engagements that could net him $100,000 a pop, the same high fee commanded by George W. Bush and Al Gore.

Instead, the Obama reality show will find the family going about daily life in their new 8,200 square-foot home in D.C. If early gossip is to be believed, we can expect sensational candid footage of Barack ordering hamburgers with Dijon mustard — a condiment Sean Hannity labeled as “elitist” in 2011. We’ll also be privvy to Obama’s tobacco relapse. Yes, he’s smoking again. (Just cigarettes…probably.)

Barack Obama Reality Show Paycheck

To capture intimate family moments like midday “beer thirty” drop-ins from Uncle Joe Biden and Obama trying desperately to keep his half-brother, Malik, from crashing on the couch “just for a week or so” again, Bravo plans to dish out $30 million.

Though the deal for “Post-Presidential” sounds unprecedented, it’s actually small fries in the reality TV world. From June 2015 to June 2016, Kim Kardashian West — the top-earning reality star of that period — made an estimated $51 million. The Obamas will at least outrank Caitlyn Jenner, Rob Kardashian and Black Chyna, who make less than $8.5 million per season.

While Obama’s presidential tenure might have reduced unemployment rates by three percentage points, more than doubled the Dow Jones average, cut the number of Americans without health insurance in half and raised national incomes while lowering the deficit, he can’t beat President Trump’s reality TV earnings in 2014, which clocked in at a staggering $63 million.

Any way you turn it, Trump wins that contest — just as his $3.5 billion estimated net worth easily blows past Obama’s $12.1 million. But like Trump told America at a 2016 rally in North Charlston, S.C., all he does is win. “We’re going to win so much. You’re going to get tired of winning. You’re going to say, ‘Please, Mr. President, I have a headache. Please don’t win so much. This is getting terrible.'”

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*This is a satirical article for April Fool’s Day. There is no plan for Barack Obama, or anyone in the Obama family, to star in a reality show. However, we are pleased to report that Bravo is continuing with their widely popular “Real Housewives” series. Likewise, all other included statistics are factual.